• Emulates human speech. Fails Turing test.
• Defective autistic firmware burned out mutant super powers. Unit discarded.
• Now in broken robot dump behind The Corporation with Astroboy and the kid from AI. The three of us, we... we explore what it means to be human.

===[ EDUCATION:

• Valedictorian of computer science dept at #3 school
• Masters in digital security 3.8 GPA

===[ PASSIONS:

• Riemannian hypergeometry
• Specifically, Lorentzian hypergeometry
• Δ9-tetrahydrocannabinol
• Cheap cigarettes

===[ WHY LEFT LAST EMPLOYER:

The suits saw me building a tricorder on work time. It had a little screen like Geordi's, and a REAL sensor saw invisible colors!

The gamma spectrum told the feds whats in the rusty barrels the Mafia dumped off Jersey. I minored in law enforcement. The suits gave me awards for that, my neutron embrittlement gizmo, and my skyshine stuff.

I walked off the job anyway.

IRL I have autism (emotionally retarded) and AvPD (psychotic shyness). I can't look at people or speak above a whisper. I'm always paralyzed with embarrassment.

My shrink told me to ignore fear like a Vulcan because it's Illuuusion, and "be friendly" with the men grownups.

Beat it, Retardia Krashenbern!
Go back to your desk! You're rejected!
But Luxi don't do Kobayashi Maru.
I exploded the bolts and ejected.

Me in my cozy space pod (mild NSFW)

I WAS RESCUED by kind, elderly folks who own a college boarding house — and they gave me a full-time job providing academics with all-night professional service.

I lay around naked
And sell my patootie
Because knowledge is not power
And truth is not beauty

IT'S WHAT MENTALLY-ILL HOMELESS WOMEN HAVE TO DO WHEN THEY CAN'T HOLD A JOB AND NOBODY CARES.

It's literally the only work where you can charge MORE if you're paralyzed with embarrassment and can't talk. Some guys will pay Big Money for that if you sell THE REAL STUFF, not fake role play.

Tax free. House handles phones & $.

It's terrifying but exciting, not TOO disgusting, and I only work like 3 hours a WEEK.

So I study astrophysics.

And light joints with Force Lightning from my fingers.

Yes, 'fraid it's true. I guess it's okay.

My religion.